| When Stimpy the Floob first appeared on the cover of the Public Inquisitor embracing a corn husk, it was considered yet another one of the inquisitors pictorial gags. But, since that time, people in America's grain belt have allegedly spotted the diminutive creature feeding on cord husks. "I haven't seen him," says Isaiah Flatfoot of Iowa, "but I once heard him one night, chompin' on my corn. I think I scared him away awful good with a few shots from my rifle." Yet, with claims that Stimpy is only the first of many extraterrestrial visitors from the planet Floobot, America's farmers grow nervous. "I've spoken to Stimpy," says Nebraska native Lorinda Loon, "and he told me that corn is vital to the well-being of Floobotians. Once the corn crop was wiped out, Stimpy and others were sent to seek corn harvests on other planets. The mothership will soon arrive to transport the corn from our planet to Floobot."
"But that's just a lot of hokum," asserts the President, called upon to consider whether this calls for a state of national emergency. "There are no extraterrestrials and even if there were we wouldn't tell you." Considered a fiction by most and a threat by some, Stimpy the corn-loving Floob has generated something of a following. After Ms. Loon divulged her experience to the press, so-called Floobacites have been formed to discuss the coming of the Floobotians to our planet. "I bet that's where Effluvia comes from," suggests a member of Corn Aid, a pro Floobotian group of wayward Blopheads. "We can do a trade. Our corn for their effluvia." Yet, until Stimpy makes a public appearance or until the Floobotian mothership hovers over the White House on Independence Day, we won't know what to think of this Brobbit enigma.