Effluvia Jack

ID	21
NAME	Effluvia Jack
NICKNAME	Frother
LOCATION	London
SOUND	ffffshhhthh
AUDIO	wav
Effluvia Jack Teaser
The young wild young Brixton boy with a million dollar idea, Effluvia Jack has become a self-proclaimed ambassador to the world. "It's me what's been the best thing which happened to me country last year." And perhaps he's right. Though Effluvia Jack attributes the success of his Old Jack Stout to the foamy, viscous liquid which oozes from the snout of his loyal pet Gripples, many say that Jack creates his own Effluvia. "That Gripples thing," remarks a neighbor, "that's just a front. It don't make Effluvia. It's Jack who does. I've seen him when he gets mad. He foams at the mouth and it gets all over the place. It's bloody disgusting, if you ask me. Me friends drink the stuff, but I won't touch that Old Jack's Stout." Pondering the truth behind the secret ingredient might make people nauseous, but it doesn't prevent them from yanking them from store shelves by the caseload. "When I came to Mr. Blackshoe with my idea," explains Jack. I had no idea he'd ever want to invest in it. But he took one sip and he was hooked. So we set up a brewery and now we're giving the ol' geezers at Guinness a run for their money." Yet, it can't be denied that this bad boy made good has a temper. And with the smut magazine, the Public Inquisitor, showing candid photos of Jack foaming at the mouth, his torso covered in white, viscous fluid, people have begun to suspect that the secret ingredient comes from Jack's own peculiar gastrointestinal system. Naturally, Jack denies charges that he, and not Gripples, creates effluvia. "Those pictures," remarks Jack, "they were taken after Gripples and I were playing in the back yard. He gets a little excited when I pull on 'is trunk, is all." But these disturbing allegations have not hurt sales; and co-founder and financial backer Lars Blackshoe III has called the claims "as valid as the claim that I'm related to that Neanderthal cousin of mine, Donely." Of course, genetic testing has settled that claim.

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